Oh Delicious Delicious Yummy You
Puffy Pink and Begging to be Eaten
Pink Coconut Confetti
Thick White Marshmallow
Chocolate Thick Inside
White Surprise Center
Dream Come True
Ode to the Pink Wonderful Snowball
Slow bite
Savor the taste
Take in the texture
Mmmm....
Fingertips full of chocolate
Fixing for some more
Sugary Sweet and so Unhealthy
Better because its Unhealthy
Ode to the Pink Delicious Snowball
Thank You Sweet Hostess
20090627
Inspired BeachBum Haikus
Seaweed Weeds
Stringy Brown and Green
Frustration
Pretty Bay
Fun to Sit and Stay
Pretty Bay
Fishin' Here
Want to See the Sand
Need a rake.
Thick Seaweed
Rake and shovel it
Comes Again
Little Bay
Strangled in Seaweed
Cursed by it
Weed Sea Weed
Back broke... Hands hurt me
Damn Weeds
Stringy Brown and Green
Frustration
Pretty Bay
Fun to Sit and Stay
Pretty Bay
Fishin' Here
Want to See the Sand
Need a rake.
Thick Seaweed
Rake and shovel it
Comes Again
Little Bay
Strangled in Seaweed
Cursed by it
Weed Sea Weed
Back broke... Hands hurt me
Damn Weeds
Caught in the Storm.
Tornado-watching? Wasn't really.
Smacked in the face with this whirlwind air.
Love the air. Refreshed by it. Addicted to it.
Stay still. Let's not go anywhere.
You. Me. This life we lead...
Unreal for a while. Now real.
Remain at the bay with me.
Throw the lures around with me.
Even though I've already caught the catch of the day.
Forbidden Fruit.
Secret life. Off the beaten path.
Breaking societys' rules. Each rule. Every rule.
My smile grows wider with each broken guideline.
Your smile gets bigger too.
Who knew?
Forever is no longer scary to me.
Caught up in this storm. Love the storm air.
Just hold my hand as we jump the tornados.
Smacked in the face with this whirlwind air.
Love the air. Refreshed by it. Addicted to it.
Stay still. Let's not go anywhere.
You. Me. This life we lead...
Unreal for a while. Now real.
Remain at the bay with me.
Throw the lures around with me.
Even though I've already caught the catch of the day.
Forbidden Fruit.
Secret life. Off the beaten path.
Breaking societys' rules. Each rule. Every rule.
My smile grows wider with each broken guideline.
Your smile gets bigger too.
Who knew?
Forever is no longer scary to me.
Caught up in this storm. Love the storm air.
Just hold my hand as we jump the tornados.
Escape by Moonlight. Bask in Sunlight
Pack. Pack the bags. Don't forget this. Or that. Did you remember to pack that? Throw it all in. Nothing else fits in the trunk? Throw it in the back. Come on! Hop on in! We got a ways to go- Let's get started! All in? Great. Take a deep breath before we leave the driveway. You are only invited if you can relax. Be-bop. Kick back. Laugh and smile. If you don't think you can then wait here. We return home late Friday. All good? Nice. Off we go!
Supposed to take 'bout 3 hours, but actually took only two. Are you ready? Relaxed? You'd better be. We got here fast. Now time to take it slow. Slow... Slow. Breathe in. Breathe out. It's a beautiful night out.
Out to the bars. Walk in the moonlight. Sound of the crushing waves in the background. Stop in at the bars. One beer. Two beers. Three beers. Four. Time to go fishing? Not quite yet. Almost. Found a little seafood place down by the Inlet. Who's hungry? ... Seafood for dinner? Yep. We're in Montauk! What else is there to eat for dinner? All done. Stomachs' full. Down to the beach... 4 something in the morning. We got enough to drink? Yeah. We're good. Blankets. Check. Camera. Check. See ya in a bit...
Sunlight peeks its sleepy, tired eyes up over the horizon. My eyes open... as do yours. Why am I lying on such a hard floor? Aah. It's cold. Rough. Little bit rocky. The beach. Fell asleep on the beach. Sit up. Let the sun soak in. Only in Montauk!
Days spent fishing. Out on a boat. One fish. Two Fish. I just caught a... I caught just a.. big bluefish. 'Cept I've won the bet. Fillet him up. Save him for later. Thrill of the catch still burning in my veins. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Reasons that we came. Walking. Talking.
Good Morning.
Bluefish breakfest on the beach. Doritos. Coronas. Breakfest of Champions.
Shopping the little shops. Friday brings the rain. Cool Rain. Thank God for the rain.
Do not make us leave. I could always stay another day. In the Rain. In the Sunlight. Relax. Drink to quench the thirst. Deep breathe in. Deep Breathe out. Wish there was time to play. We'll be back again. Covers been blown. Too relaxed to care. Too laid back to give a damn. But gotta battle traffic. Welcome to En Why. NY.
Catch ya' on the flip side...
Supposed to take 'bout 3 hours, but actually took only two. Are you ready? Relaxed? You'd better be. We got here fast. Now time to take it slow. Slow... Slow. Breathe in. Breathe out. It's a beautiful night out.
Out to the bars. Walk in the moonlight. Sound of the crushing waves in the background. Stop in at the bars. One beer. Two beers. Three beers. Four. Time to go fishing? Not quite yet. Almost. Found a little seafood place down by the Inlet. Who's hungry? ... Seafood for dinner? Yep. We're in Montauk! What else is there to eat for dinner? All done. Stomachs' full. Down to the beach... 4 something in the morning. We got enough to drink? Yeah. We're good. Blankets. Check. Camera. Check. See ya in a bit...
Sunlight peeks its sleepy, tired eyes up over the horizon. My eyes open... as do yours. Why am I lying on such a hard floor? Aah. It's cold. Rough. Little bit rocky. The beach. Fell asleep on the beach. Sit up. Let the sun soak in. Only in Montauk!
Days spent fishing. Out on a boat. One fish. Two Fish. I just caught a... I caught just a.. big bluefish. 'Cept I've won the bet. Fillet him up. Save him for later. Thrill of the catch still burning in my veins. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Reasons that we came. Walking. Talking.
Good Morning.
Bluefish breakfest on the beach. Doritos. Coronas. Breakfest of Champions.
Shopping the little shops. Friday brings the rain. Cool Rain. Thank God for the rain.
Do not make us leave. I could always stay another day. In the Rain. In the Sunlight. Relax. Drink to quench the thirst. Deep breathe in. Deep Breathe out. Wish there was time to play. We'll be back again. Covers been blown. Too relaxed to care. Too laid back to give a damn. But gotta battle traffic. Welcome to En Why. NY.
Catch ya' on the flip side...
20090624
Roll with the Punches
One year. Nine months. Why. For what. Did I want to be here? Is? This. Me? How did I end up where I am? Fallen off course. Fallen off the path that my heart leads me toward. Not my dreams. Not my thoughts. Or words. Somebody else's dreams. Thoughts. Words. Pumped into my brain. What is it my subconscious is telling me? If I have brought myself to where I am.. well, then. Point. Taken. Backtrack. Find my own footsteps along the sand. I am destined for great things. Few seem to understand. Let me be. Let me be me. I know what that means. I know where I should be. Can't you allow me to get there? Find my own path. Make my own way. As I roll along with the punches. I do not bruise so easily. Just stand behind me. Beside me. Support me. Smile along with me. I will make do. I will survive. Do not be afraid for me.
One year. Nine months. Nothing. A lesson for my soul. Tells me one thing. or two. Perhaps I am better for it. Allow me to spread my wings. Fly away. Perhaps I am better for it.
One year. Nine months. Nothing. A lesson for my soul. Tells me one thing. or two. Perhaps I am better for it. Allow me to spread my wings. Fly away. Perhaps I am better for it.
When is Enough, Enough
She looks at you with young eyes. Young. Untouched. Adorable eyes. Eyes of a child who should not know what she has felt. What she has gone through. She needs you in her life. The same way that any child should need their mother. What do you do? What? You hurt her in ways that you do not even know. Ways in which she can not begin to understand. Damaged moments. Confused thoughts. Irreversible words. You are thirsty, thirstier than most. She does not understand. Can not. She never will. You are damaging. As far away as you live. Always. Damaging her still. I look at her... at her eyes. What is it that I see? What is it that others can see?
A father who has sacrificed so much. So. Much. For so long. He has given so much of himself for her. Doing what is right. Out of love. Out of devotion. Having forgotten his needs. Wants. Desires. Being the parent he needs to be. Being the parent she needs. The devoted mature responsible father. Devoted. Mature. Responsible. Willing to sacrifice so much for her. Desire to bring sunlight into her world.
You are thirsty. You make excuses that drip from your lips like running water, I can only assume to be true that this is what you do. Excuses for yourself. For the life you have fallen into. For where your family has ended up. Excuses. But for what? She longs for you and you long for the thirst that steals from you. From her. It is an illness because you choose for it to be. A decision made too long ago. Only you can change. But she. She longs for a hand to hold hers. A bedtime story. A day in the park. She longs for mother-daughter moments... baked cookies, painted nails, curlers in her hair... she longs for things that you cannot offer her. Your thirst is stale in the air.
When you do. You do take her. Where? Anywhere. Watched. Step. By. Step. You take her there. A part of you cares. As it should. She sees it. Do you think she wonders. Does she have to watch you stumble and slur words? She knows the difference. She has grown older in the shadow of it. Can't you repair? Feel that she longs for you. For although her daddy has been there... for every second. every minute. every day... he has been two parents working himself thin. To have had it all and to have lost it. To have given it up. Did the grass look so green? Now you stand alone in the weeds. When is enough, Enough? Please. Tell me. Please. My heart breaks a little when I see the need in her. Can't you see what I see? You are complicating a young life which does not need to be. Please.
A father who has sacrificed so much. So. Much. For so long. He has given so much of himself for her. Doing what is right. Out of love. Out of devotion. Having forgotten his needs. Wants. Desires. Being the parent he needs to be. Being the parent she needs. The devoted mature responsible father. Devoted. Mature. Responsible. Willing to sacrifice so much for her. Desire to bring sunlight into her world.
You are thirsty. You make excuses that drip from your lips like running water, I can only assume to be true that this is what you do. Excuses for yourself. For the life you have fallen into. For where your family has ended up. Excuses. But for what? She longs for you and you long for the thirst that steals from you. From her. It is an illness because you choose for it to be. A decision made too long ago. Only you can change. But she. She longs for a hand to hold hers. A bedtime story. A day in the park. She longs for mother-daughter moments... baked cookies, painted nails, curlers in her hair... she longs for things that you cannot offer her. Your thirst is stale in the air.
When you do. You do take her. Where? Anywhere. Watched. Step. By. Step. You take her there. A part of you cares. As it should. She sees it. Do you think she wonders. Does she have to watch you stumble and slur words? She knows the difference. She has grown older in the shadow of it. Can't you repair? Feel that she longs for you. For although her daddy has been there... for every second. every minute. every day... he has been two parents working himself thin. To have had it all and to have lost it. To have given it up. Did the grass look so green? Now you stand alone in the weeds. When is enough, Enough? Please. Tell me. Please. My heart breaks a little when I see the need in her. Can't you see what I see? You are complicating a young life which does not need to be. Please.
First Beach
Swish. Swoosh. Sand beneath my feet.
What is this strange feeling?
The hardness of the sand. The hottness of it. Out in the sun.
The cooling. Sweet. Coldness.. sandy beige rocky coldness in the shade.
What's that? That feeling.... a push of wind through my hair.
Cool breeze. Refreshing. Rejuvenating.
The light sweeping rush reminds me that I am free.
Swoosh. Swish. And a crunch beneath me feet.
My feet in the water. So this is what they call a beach?
The twinkle of my toes beneath the water.
Cool water. Love the water.
The way which the sunlight hits the water.
So that is sunlight.
So this is sand.
So this is the cool water they call the ocean.
The beach. Where I wish I could lay and stay forever.
Seagulls flying above me all have the upperhand.
First Taste of Beach. A taste so sweet.
So sweet. Memory to keep and hold forever.
What is this strange feeling?
The hardness of the sand. The hottness of it. Out in the sun.
The cooling. Sweet. Coldness.. sandy beige rocky coldness in the shade.
What's that? That feeling.... a push of wind through my hair.
Cool breeze. Refreshing. Rejuvenating.
The light sweeping rush reminds me that I am free.
Swoosh. Swish. And a crunch beneath me feet.
My feet in the water. So this is what they call a beach?
The twinkle of my toes beneath the water.
Cool water. Love the water.
The way which the sunlight hits the water.
So that is sunlight.
So this is sand.
So this is the cool water they call the ocean.
The beach. Where I wish I could lay and stay forever.
Seagulls flying above me all have the upperhand.
First Taste of Beach. A taste so sweet.
So sweet. Memory to keep and hold forever.
20090623
Mindless Matters of Two Hearts
You. Is it true? I have known you. Years. As long as I can remember. Since time.
Loved you for so long. So. Long. Longed for you. It seems. Unreal. It is. Yet real. Can it be? It is. Real as real can be. Feels like years. Years that you have held me. Layed your head against mine. Mine. Normal. Normalcy. As if. As if you have always been. Been at my side. Well then 'course you were. Always there. Knowing me. Learning me. As close to me as my girls have grown. You. Me. Together. Happily. Ever. After. Can it be? Please don't let me be.
Wake up time for me. Us. Alarm sounding. Ring.Ring.Ring. Thank God because. Because. Your arms are still. Still around me. Forbidden. Secret love. Fruit that tastes the sweetest. August. December. January. June. My head high. Floating. With the moon.
Close your eyes. Close. Them. Tight. Brace yourself. Opposition creeping in.
Stand with me. Hold my hand. Hold. My. Hand. Now squeeze. Tight. Tighter. I am going to be sick.Stand behind me. Quick. Don't wake me from my sleep. But lay next to me.
Don't get up. Don't walk away. While fear rises within me. Rises. Up. Clogs my head.
Hold my hand. Kiss my forehead. Keep me grounded instead. Your kiss sweet. Time to wake up? No. I am certain you cannot agree. I sleep. You sleep. We dream. Which is the reality?
Addicted. To You. My. Love. My drug. Secret. Keep me secret. I will lie. Then hope to redeem myself in the eyes of my Lord. God. He understands this. Right? For I can. You can. Anyone. Following my heart. On this road. This road of my life. Regret nothing. Take nothing. Keep nothing. Keep memories. Smile at the memories in our heads. 13. 13 days. 14 years. Addicted. To you, my love, my drug. Secret. How long? How long till' we can shake the secrets off? Shake them off of me. But don't let me be. Instead. Instead just stay with me. Cast a line into the bay's water with me. Drink a beer with me. Do you think the world... Do you think the world will let us be 'we'? God willing, maybe we can be. August. December. Accepted Traditionally. Our love. Our whirlwind tornado romance. If the world can let us be the 'we' that we long to be.. then there will be. Peace. In my heart. In yours as well. Can the image in my mind find birth? You. Me. Beautiful home. On the water. Surrounded by young chldren. A future family. Can it work? I close my eyes to find the sound of our dogs barking in the background. Don't just let me be. Let me be me. Just don't let go of me. Talk with me for hours. Hours. Lose time in the whispers of mixed voices. Stare into my eyes. I stare back. August. December. Ageless. Timeless. Colorless. Follow our hearts in the path to whats right. But when what we think is right is wrong to every other eye, is it still right? Yes, I agree. Lets fight for love. Following my heart is all I have known. All of you have known. Right enough for me. Don't let go of me.
I wake up. Time to wake up. I'll wake up right now. This image? This story? This dribbling. This triffle. This meaningless babble... its nothing. No. Nothing. Nothing has happenned. Single. You. Single. Me. Lies on my lips injure me. Secrecy. Forbidden fruit. All of this a dream to me. Do you dream in the same colors as me? Don't let go of my hand. Hold me. Hold me. Now. Please. Tighter. Let me be me but don't let go of me. Day by day. By day. By day. Cross our fingers. Fight the fight. See you when I close my eyes tight. Whispering sweet nothings in the dark. Feel the sunlight. Just don't want to wake up from my heart's flight. Lay with me. Hold on tight. Opposition. Challenge. Creeping quickly beneath the glow of this night. Kiss me. Softly. Quickly. I love you. Love. You. Psst... . I. love. you. Don't wake me. Let me be me but don't let go of me. My darling....
Loved you for so long. So. Long. Longed for you. It seems. Unreal. It is. Yet real. Can it be? It is. Real as real can be. Feels like years. Years that you have held me. Layed your head against mine. Mine. Normal. Normalcy. As if. As if you have always been. Been at my side. Well then 'course you were. Always there. Knowing me. Learning me. As close to me as my girls have grown. You. Me. Together. Happily. Ever. After. Can it be? Please don't let me be.
Wake up time for me. Us. Alarm sounding. Ring.Ring.Ring. Thank God because. Because. Your arms are still. Still around me. Forbidden. Secret love. Fruit that tastes the sweetest. August. December. January. June. My head high. Floating. With the moon.
Close your eyes. Close. Them. Tight. Brace yourself. Opposition creeping in.
Stand with me. Hold my hand. Hold. My. Hand. Now squeeze. Tight. Tighter. I am going to be sick.Stand behind me. Quick. Don't wake me from my sleep. But lay next to me.
Don't get up. Don't walk away. While fear rises within me. Rises. Up. Clogs my head.
Hold my hand. Kiss my forehead. Keep me grounded instead. Your kiss sweet. Time to wake up? No. I am certain you cannot agree. I sleep. You sleep. We dream. Which is the reality?
Addicted. To You. My. Love. My drug. Secret. Keep me secret. I will lie. Then hope to redeem myself in the eyes of my Lord. God. He understands this. Right? For I can. You can. Anyone. Following my heart. On this road. This road of my life. Regret nothing. Take nothing. Keep nothing. Keep memories. Smile at the memories in our heads. 13. 13 days. 14 years. Addicted. To you, my love, my drug. Secret. How long? How long till' we can shake the secrets off? Shake them off of me. But don't let me be. Instead. Instead just stay with me. Cast a line into the bay's water with me. Drink a beer with me. Do you think the world... Do you think the world will let us be 'we'? God willing, maybe we can be. August. December. Accepted Traditionally. Our love. Our whirlwind tornado romance. If the world can let us be the 'we' that we long to be.. then there will be. Peace. In my heart. In yours as well. Can the image in my mind find birth? You. Me. Beautiful home. On the water. Surrounded by young chldren. A future family. Can it work? I close my eyes to find the sound of our dogs barking in the background. Don't just let me be. Let me be me. Just don't let go of me. Talk with me for hours. Hours. Lose time in the whispers of mixed voices. Stare into my eyes. I stare back. August. December. Ageless. Timeless. Colorless. Follow our hearts in the path to whats right. But when what we think is right is wrong to every other eye, is it still right? Yes, I agree. Lets fight for love. Following my heart is all I have known. All of you have known. Right enough for me. Don't let go of me.
I wake up. Time to wake up. I'll wake up right now. This image? This story? This dribbling. This triffle. This meaningless babble... its nothing. No. Nothing. Nothing has happenned. Single. You. Single. Me. Lies on my lips injure me. Secrecy. Forbidden fruit. All of this a dream to me. Do you dream in the same colors as me? Don't let go of my hand. Hold me. Hold me. Now. Please. Tighter. Let me be me but don't let go of me. Day by day. By day. By day. Cross our fingers. Fight the fight. See you when I close my eyes tight. Whispering sweet nothings in the dark. Feel the sunlight. Just don't want to wake up from my heart's flight. Lay with me. Hold on tight. Opposition. Challenge. Creeping quickly beneath the glow of this night. Kiss me. Softly. Quickly. I love you. Love. You. Psst... . I. love. you. Don't wake me. Let me be me but don't let go of me. My darling....
Rainy Day Blues
Summertime Summertime
Rain Rain Rain
So much rain it makes me insane
Wet. Wet. Wet. Just stepped in a puddle.
Now I'm getting upset.
Do
Not
Mind
Rain
While
I'm
Inside...
Defineltly Nice. Wintertime. Curled up. Fireplace. Cozy Blankets. Warms the insides.
But Summertime. Summertime? Not. Time. For. Rain.
No. No. No. Flowers need light. Animals need Spring.
I need light. Give. It. To. Me.
Where is the sunshine?
Sunshine. So. Sweet. Sunshine lights the soul. Remember light?
New York. Welcome. The New Seattle.
Rain Rain Rain
So much rain it makes me insane
Wet. Wet. Wet. Just stepped in a puddle.
Now I'm getting upset.
Do
Not
Mind
Rain
While
I'm
Inside...
Defineltly Nice. Wintertime. Curled up. Fireplace. Cozy Blankets. Warms the insides.
But Summertime. Summertime? Not. Time. For. Rain.
No. No. No. Flowers need light. Animals need Spring.
I need light. Give. It. To. Me.
Where is the sunshine?
Sunshine. So. Sweet. Sunshine lights the soul. Remember light?
New York. Welcome. The New Seattle.
20090610
Silenced Voice Broken
Who do you think you are?
Why?
What gives you the right to decide for me?
To constrain me... to give me such limits?
.. To tell me where I belong in this world...
...To tell me what I can and cannot do...
... To speak to me like a child....
over and over, over again
How can you tell me that I won't reach the stars?
Your failing at your job, Mrs. Perfect.
I thought it was supposed to be 'in your position' to push me forward.
... to tell me to reach for the stars-
the same stars that are higher than my fingertips reach.
Good Job... Yeah. You're great at your job.
What gives you the nerve... the downright gall?
What for?
Why can't you believe in me?
What keeps you from seeing me for who I am- for me?
Stop pretending like you care about my well-being...
Stop pretending like you care about my persona.
I don't want you to believe in me... not anymore.
I want, instead, to prove you wrong. So, just let me be.
You do not know me. You will never know me.
And I don't say it to be mean.
I don't want you to know me. I never tried to know you.
So don't try now- its too late.
Your not a shrink. Don't try to be. And don't be mine.
I don't need to be analyzed.
I know who I am. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of where I'm from.
Let me be. Bye. You don't know me, no you don't. Do not try.
I don't give up on myself... even when others do.
I never have, I never will. I was raised better.
I don't care what others think... other than those I hold dear to me.
So get away from me and take your friends.
I don't care what you think. I don't need your approval.
Who is it that you think you are, exactly, Mrs. Almighty?
I should thank you for being so unfair.
I should thank you for being so disrespectful, so judgemental.
Thank you for failing to believe in me,
.. In everything I stand for,
when you never tried to know me...
and never gave me a chance to show my colors.
You can not silence me...
At least never so easily.
I reach for the stars, my own starts, and I find them.
No matter how hard or how tough.
They may not be your stars, but they're my stars.
I don't care about your damn stars.
I am a survivor.
I was built and engineered to be.
I fight for my rights, each and every one.
So hold on tight, Ms. Perfect.
You can't touch me... even if you shut me down.
You won't change my colors. You won't change me.
You won't ever win... even if it ever seems like you have.
You'll just continue on,
naive.. full of yourself...believing that you own me...
Believing that you can control everything... you manipulate everything..
you are fed lies and you believe them....
and the lies are not words that ever fell from my mouth..
Go ahead- cover yourself with the blanket of nobility.
Pretend that you are high and almighty...
when the world that you live in is so small and confined.
Go ahead- presume that you know everything about me..
... presume that you know me.... when you never EVER will or can.
( while I laugh at that prospect you keep).
You can not win. Ever.
You'll exhaust yourself trying.
But Good luck trying.
Hold on to your seat. Buckle in.
Witch. Why?
Why?
What gives you the right to decide for me?
To constrain me... to give me such limits?
.. To tell me where I belong in this world...
...To tell me what I can and cannot do...
... To speak to me like a child....
over and over, over again
How can you tell me that I won't reach the stars?
Your failing at your job, Mrs. Perfect.
I thought it was supposed to be 'in your position' to push me forward.
... to tell me to reach for the stars-
the same stars that are higher than my fingertips reach.
Good Job... Yeah. You're great at your job.
What gives you the nerve... the downright gall?
What for?
Why can't you believe in me?
What keeps you from seeing me for who I am- for me?
Stop pretending like you care about my well-being...
Stop pretending like you care about my persona.
I don't want you to believe in me... not anymore.
I want, instead, to prove you wrong. So, just let me be.
You do not know me. You will never know me.
And I don't say it to be mean.
I don't want you to know me. I never tried to know you.
So don't try now- its too late.
Your not a shrink. Don't try to be. And don't be mine.
I don't need to be analyzed.
I know who I am. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of where I'm from.
Let me be. Bye. You don't know me, no you don't. Do not try.
I don't give up on myself... even when others do.
I never have, I never will. I was raised better.
I don't care what others think... other than those I hold dear to me.
So get away from me and take your friends.
I don't care what you think. I don't need your approval.
Who is it that you think you are, exactly, Mrs. Almighty?
I should thank you for being so unfair.
I should thank you for being so disrespectful, so judgemental.
Thank you for failing to believe in me,
.. In everything I stand for,
when you never tried to know me...
and never gave me a chance to show my colors.
You can not silence me...
At least never so easily.
I reach for the stars, my own starts, and I find them.
No matter how hard or how tough.
They may not be your stars, but they're my stars.
I don't care about your damn stars.
I am a survivor.
I was built and engineered to be.
I fight for my rights, each and every one.
So hold on tight, Ms. Perfect.
You can't touch me... even if you shut me down.
You won't change my colors. You won't change me.
You won't ever win... even if it ever seems like you have.
You'll just continue on,
naive.. full of yourself...believing that you own me...
Believing that you can control everything... you manipulate everything..
you are fed lies and you believe them....
and the lies are not words that ever fell from my mouth..
Go ahead- cover yourself with the blanket of nobility.
Pretend that you are high and almighty...
when the world that you live in is so small and confined.
Go ahead- presume that you know everything about me..
... presume that you know me.... when you never EVER will or can.
( while I laugh at that prospect you keep).
You can not win. Ever.
You'll exhaust yourself trying.
But Good luck trying.
Hold on to your seat. Buckle in.
Witch. Why?
20090608
Little Yellow Me
I am a little yellow flower.
I may not be the prettiest flower you see.
But I am beautiful.
The wind tells me so, the birds tell me so, the sun tells me so.
My color is bright. I am proud.
Although I am little and not well known or popular, I stand tall.
I believe in me. That is all that I need.
I am the color yellow, the bright and beautiful color of sunlight.
I am happy not to be like everyone else. I aim to be an individual.
Different makes me proud. My identity means everything to be me.
I am my own leader. I follow only faith and my own heart.
I am just a little yellow flower. I am me. I am happy.
I am springtime in the sunlight. I know who I am. I like my color.
Babbling Insomnia
I was born into this world.
A world that I try to fit into but a world that I clearly cannot adjust easily to.
A square peg into a round hole.
Some understand me. Many try to. Most do not. A fair amount cannot and never will.
A fair share I'll tell not to even bother to try.
I know who I am. I am proud of who I am.
I am me. That is who I want to be.
If you have to ask why I am who I am then please do not bother.
I was born into this world.
Having missed the decades which I clearly should have been in.... or, well, so "they" say...
Everyone says it... everyone, anyway.
Non-conformist. New-aged "hippie", missed "my decades"...
"What a shame she wasn't around for the good ol' days"...
Yeah, I agree. But, then I wonder, where would I be now, twice this age?
Would I know my dad? my mom? my siblings? my cousins, my family & friends?
Perhaps I am meant to be now, this way, just the way I am. For something.
Yes, I am sure of it. Quite sure that everything must happen for a reason.
I am me.
Born into this world
where nobody can figure me out,
'cept for me.... then the few and far in between.
I cannot conform, as much as I might want to try in order to please others.
I cannot lie, because it is not who I am or what I am made of.
I am not perfect and do not always learn from my mistakes the first time 'round.
But I know who I am. I am happy. I am proud. I am beautiful. I live without regrets.
Milk that has spilt is not worth any tears.
I will find the decades I missed somehow, in some way, at least in part.
I will find the one, apart from my girls, who gets me for me without question.
I will learn to live in this world because the world is beautiful even if it is corrupt.
The world, although perhaps a different shape than I, will bend with my shape and form.
I am a teacher even without a degree. I am a student, until the day that I leave this earth.
I am an artist. I am an author. I am a dreamer, a believer, a lover and a fighter.
I believe the world's problems could be solved much better with the presidents in a boxing ring.
Bloodshed burns at my heart and soul.
Although I love this land, I can never love or justify a war which seems barbaric.
I am a bird. I am a flower. I am the sunlight. I am the hope and the faith in the future.
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