Out in the Open

So many sunshines rose and fell, days came and went.
Secrets stayed sealed under cupid-sick lips.

The day has come.... the day has finally come.
Now secrets out and broken open .
All the preconceived ideas and notions of what could come of reaction...
Swept away with wind and with the simple steps of a summer walk....
Secret kept is now out. Souls trapped... now freed.
God... how it feels great to be free... and out in the open.
Star-crossed yet stubbornly sworn into love under Cupids red arrow.

Caged Sadness

I watch you..... We watch you...
Your magnificent beauty how it moves us with every step you take.
We sense your spirit as you pace back and forth
.................. pacing back and forth................
How unfair it all seems.
How terrible and seems demonstrated more with you than any other animal.

You thirst.
Your thirst for your land. The coldness. The Artic Cold.
You thirst.
For blood. For the thrill of the chase in predator versus prey.
Instead there you pace. Trapped. Locked up. Locked away.
Waiting for them to throw you pieces of fish... or whatever it is thats on the menu of the day.
I am sorry. We feel sorry.
My heart drops. My eyes well up.
I walk away with a few good shots on my camera.
All for what?
You are given barely any room to pace... barely any room to swim.

If they could only let you free... let you be. We're sorry.
Suddenly the zoo seems a little less fun and carefree.
You're a Polar Bear Mockery.

Ever ?

Ever feel like you're juggling one, two, three balls too many in your hands?
Juggling them all... so many, so many you can barely stand anymore?
I have.

Ever feel like your're walking the tightrope of indecision?
Like your head is so clouded up with fog you can barely remember your own name..?
I have.

Then I look out into the horizon... and I look into my heart... I look into his eyes.
I find my balance. I speak and he helps me balance my feet back on the ground again.
So I have felt that way before but do not have to anymore.

Do Not

Do not tell me what to feel.
I know what I feel.
Do not tell me what I love.
I know what to love. I know how to love.
Do not tell me what I am passionate about it.
Because I know where my passions lie

Do not pretend to know me "for me".
Do not tell me that you know my heart -
Do not say you know the inside of my head, you do not.

Do not take control. You do not have to.
I am in control of my own life, somehow.
I may not have all the answers but I make my own choices.

Let me be and I'll tell you who I am.
I'll tell you what I'm all about.
Your fake accusations that you believe to be real used to cut me.
Now they brush off of me. I'm numb to them.

I did what Dad said.
I took out my crayons and colored you.
I've colored you red.

Rage. The Outrage.

I rise early with the morning sun
Stretch my arms out with an unsettling uneasiness.
Feathers

F
..A
....L
......L

Feathers fall all around me d
......................................o
.......................................w
........................................n from my outstretched hands.

The new day has begun but already I feel drown in it....
I am

...........D
............R
.............O
..............W
...............N
................I
.................N
..................G

in it. In what? What you wonder? I wonder myself.
Sometimes I can barely swallow.
The new the untouched the morning fog
Sometimes it is hard to see.

I look out on the years behind me, sworn to never have regrets
Yet I lay swallowed by them- gasping for air inside of them.
Where did I go wrong?
Blame is not a game I know well.

... W H E R E
?!@# ?
When was it so fucked up to party and act my age?
It never was, I suppose.

No.
I somehow began to slip away from my own path.
Is that where I first lost my footing?
My path where I followed my heart has seen many forks in the road.
Do I blame anyone else for where I am now? No.
It is my life. Mine. Mine alone. My choices are my own.
I made them. I live with the aftermath of them-- the aftermath from them.

No. NO. Let me talk. It's my turn to talk and your turn to listen.
When I began to listen to the whisper of other thoughts and other voices--
That. There. Right fuckin there. And there was my downfall.
Mine. Damn it. All mine. I partied my way down. Loved my way down.

D
O
W
N
F
A
L
L

now.
NOW I STAND EXACTLY WHERE I AM.
PERHAPS.
and perhaps...
"Shh! Let me speak!"
Perhaps it is where I am supposed to be in my life.
Fixing the wrong that I have done.
Let me be. I am suffering to be me. Just let me be.

Ode to the Pink Wonderful Snowball

Oh Delicious Delicious Yummy You
Puffy Pink and Begging to be Eaten

Pink Coconut Confetti
Thick White Marshmallow
Chocolate Thick Inside
White Surprise Center
Dream Come True

Ode to the Pink Wonderful Snowball
Slow bite
Savor the taste
Take in the texture
Mmmm....
Fingertips full of chocolate
Fixing for some more

Sugary Sweet and so Unhealthy
Better because its Unhealthy
Ode to the Pink Delicious Snowball
Thank You Sweet Hostess

Inspired BeachBum Haikus

Seaweed Weeds
Stringy Brown and Green
Frustration

Pretty Bay
Fun to Sit and Stay
Pretty Bay

Fishin' Here
Want to See the Sand
Need a rake.

Thick Seaweed
Rake and shovel it
Comes Again

Little Bay
Strangled in Seaweed
Cursed by it

Weed Sea Weed
Back broke... Hands hurt me
Damn Weeds

Caught in the Storm.

Tornado-watching? Wasn't really.
Smacked in the face with this whirlwind air.
Love the air. Refreshed by it. Addicted to it.
Stay still. Let's not go anywhere.

You. Me. This life we lead...
Unreal for a while. Now real.
Remain at the bay with me.
Throw the lures around with me.
Even though I've already caught the catch of the day.

Forbidden Fruit.
Secret life. Off the beaten path.
Breaking societys' rules. Each rule. Every rule.
My smile grows wider with each broken guideline.
Your smile gets bigger too.
Who knew?
Forever is no longer scary to me.
Caught up in this storm. Love the storm air.
Just hold my hand as we jump the tornados.

Escape by Moonlight. Bask in Sunlight

Pack. Pack the bags. Don't forget this. Or that. Did you remember to pack that? Throw it all in. Nothing else fits in the trunk? Throw it in the back. Come on! Hop on in! We got a ways to go- Let's get started! All in? Great. Take a deep breath before we leave the driveway. You are only invited if you can relax. Be-bop. Kick back. Laugh and smile. If you don't think you can then wait here. We return home late Friday. All good? Nice. Off we go!

Supposed to take 'bout 3 hours, but actually took only two. Are you ready? Relaxed? You'd better be. We got here fast. Now time to take it slow. Slow... Slow. Breathe in. Breathe out. It's a beautiful night out.

Out to the bars. Walk in the moonlight. Sound of the crushing waves in the background. Stop in at the bars. One beer. Two beers. Three beers. Four. Time to go fishing? Not quite yet. Almost. Found a little seafood place down by the Inlet. Who's hungry? ... Seafood for dinner? Yep. We're in Montauk! What else is there to eat for dinner? All done. Stomachs' full. Down to the beach... 4 something in the morning. We got enough to drink? Yeah. We're good. Blankets. Check. Camera. Check. See ya in a bit...

Sunlight peeks its sleepy, tired eyes up over the horizon. My eyes open... as do yours. Why am I lying on such a hard floor? Aah. It's cold. Rough. Little bit rocky. The beach. Fell asleep on the beach. Sit up. Let the sun soak in. Only in Montauk!

Days spent fishing. Out on a boat. One fish. Two Fish. I just caught a... I caught just a.. big bluefish. 'Cept I've won the bet. Fillet him up. Save him for later. Thrill of the catch still burning in my veins. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Reasons that we came. Walking. Talking.

Good Morning.
Bluefish breakfest on the beach. Doritos. Coronas. Breakfest of Champions.

Shopping the little shops. Friday brings the rain. Cool Rain. Thank God for the rain.

Do not make us leave. I could always stay another day. In the Rain. In the Sunlight. Relax. Drink to quench the thirst. Deep breathe in. Deep Breathe out. Wish there was time to play. We'll be back again. Covers been blown. Too relaxed to care. Too laid back to give a damn. But gotta battle traffic. Welcome to En Why. NY.

Catch ya' on the flip side...

Roll with the Punches

One year. Nine months. Why. For what. Did I want to be here? Is? This. Me? How did I end up where I am? Fallen off course. Fallen off the path that my heart leads me toward. Not my dreams. Not my thoughts. Or words. Somebody else's dreams. Thoughts. Words. Pumped into my brain. What is it my subconscious is telling me? If I have brought myself to where I am.. well, then. Point. Taken. Backtrack. Find my own footsteps along the sand. I am destined for great things. Few seem to understand. Let me be. Let me be me. I know what that means. I know where I should be. Can't you allow me to get there? Find my own path. Make my own way. As I roll along with the punches. I do not bruise so easily. Just stand behind me. Beside me. Support me. Smile along with me. I will make do. I will survive. Do not be afraid for me.

One year. Nine months. Nothing. A lesson for my soul. Tells me one thing. or two. Perhaps I am better for it. Allow me to spread my wings. Fly away. Perhaps I am better for it.

When is Enough, Enough

She looks at you with young eyes. Young. Untouched. Adorable eyes. Eyes of a child who should not know what she has felt. What she has gone through. She needs you in her life. The same way that any child should need their mother. What do you do? What? You hurt her in ways that you do not even know. Ways in which she can not begin to understand. Damaged moments. Confused thoughts. Irreversible words. You are thirsty, thirstier than most. She does not understand. Can not. She never will. You are damaging. As far away as you live. Always. Damaging her still. I look at her... at her eyes. What is it that I see? What is it that others can see?

A father who has sacrificed so much. So. Much. For so long. He has given so much of himself for her. Doing what is right. Out of love. Out of devotion. Having forgotten his needs. Wants. Desires. Being the parent he needs to be. Being the parent she needs. The devoted mature responsible father. Devoted. Mature. Responsible. Willing to sacrifice so much for her. Desire to bring sunlight into her world.

You are thirsty. You make excuses that drip from your lips like running water, I can only assume to be true that this is what you do. Excuses for yourself. For the life you have fallen into. For where your family has ended up. Excuses. But for what? She longs for you and you long for the thirst that steals from you. From her. It is an illness because you choose for it to be. A decision made too long ago. Only you can change. But she. She longs for a hand to hold hers. A bedtime story. A day in the park. She longs for mother-daughter moments... baked cookies, painted nails, curlers in her hair... she longs for things that you cannot offer her. Your thirst is stale in the air.

When you do. You do take her. Where? Anywhere. Watched. Step. By. Step. You take her there. A part of you cares. As it should. She sees it. Do you think she wonders. Does she have to watch you stumble and slur words? She knows the difference. She has grown older in the shadow of it. Can't you repair? Feel that she longs for you. For although her daddy has been there... for every second. every minute. every day... he has been two parents working himself thin. To have had it all and to have lost it. To have given it up. Did the grass look so green? Now you stand alone in the weeds. When is enough, Enough? Please. Tell me. Please. My heart breaks a little when I see the need in her. Can't you see what I see? You are complicating a young life which does not need to be. Please.

First Beach

Swish. Swoosh. Sand beneath my feet.
What is this strange feeling?
The hardness of the sand. The hottness of it. Out in the sun.
The cooling. Sweet. Coldness.. sandy beige rocky coldness in the shade.
What's that? That feeling.... a push of wind through my hair.
Cool breeze. Refreshing. Rejuvenating.
The light sweeping rush reminds me that I am free.

Swoosh. Swish. And a crunch beneath me feet.
My feet in the water. So this is what they call a beach?
The twinkle of my toes beneath the water.
Cool water. Love the water.
The way which the sunlight hits the water.
So that is sunlight.
So this is sand.
So this is the cool water they call the ocean.
The beach. Where I wish I could lay and stay forever.
Seagulls flying above me all have the upperhand.
First Taste of Beach. A taste so sweet.
So sweet. Memory to keep and hold forever.

Mindless Matters of Two Hearts

You. Is it true? I have known you. Years. As long as I can remember. Since time.
Loved you for so long. So. Long. Longed for you. It seems. Unreal. It is. Yet real. Can it be? It is. Real as real can be. Feels like years. Years that you have held me. Layed your head against mine. Mine. Normal. Normalcy. As if. As if you have always been. Been at my side. Well then 'course you were. Always there. Knowing me. Learning me. As close to me as my girls have grown. You. Me. Together. Happily. Ever. After. Can it be? Please don't let me be.

Wake up time for me. Us. Alarm sounding. Ring.Ring.Ring. Thank God because. Because. Your arms are still. Still around me. Forbidden. Secret love. Fruit that tastes the sweetest. August. December. January. June. My head high. Floating. With the moon.
Close your eyes. Close. Them. Tight. Brace yourself. Opposition creeping in.
Stand with me. Hold my hand. Hold. My. Hand. Now squeeze. Tight. Tighter. I am going to be sick.Stand behind me. Quick. Don't wake me from my sleep. But lay next to me.
Don't get up. Don't walk away. While fear rises within me. Rises. Up. Clogs my head.
Hold my hand. Kiss my forehead. Keep me grounded instead. Your kiss sweet. Time to wake up? No. I am certain you cannot agree. I sleep. You sleep. We dream. Which is the reality?

Addicted. To You. My. Love. My drug. Secret. Keep me secret. I will lie. Then hope to redeem myself in the eyes of my Lord. God. He understands this. Right? For I can. You can. Anyone. Following my heart. On this road. This road of my life. Regret nothing. Take nothing. Keep nothing. Keep memories. Smile at the memories in our heads. 13. 13 days. 14 years. Addicted. To you, my love, my drug. Secret. How long? How long till' we can shake the secrets off? Shake them off of me. But don't let me be. Instead. Instead just stay with me. Cast a line into the bay's water with me. Drink a beer with me. Do you think the world... Do you think the world will let us be 'we'? God willing, maybe we can be. August. December. Accepted Traditionally. Our love. Our whirlwind tornado romance. If the world can let us be the 'we' that we long to be.. then there will be. Peace. In my heart. In yours as well. Can the image in my mind find birth? You. Me. Beautiful home. On the water. Surrounded by young chldren. A future family. Can it work? I close my eyes to find the sound of our dogs barking in the background. Don't just let me be. Let me be me. Just don't let go of me. Talk with me for hours. Hours. Lose time in the whispers of mixed voices. Stare into my eyes. I stare back. August. December. Ageless. Timeless. Colorless. Follow our hearts in the path to whats right. But when what we think is right is wrong to every other eye, is it still right? Yes, I agree. Lets fight for love. Following my heart is all I have known. All of you have known. Right enough for me. Don't let go of me.

I wake up. Time to wake up. I'll wake up right now. This image? This story? This dribbling. This triffle. This meaningless babble... its nothing. No. Nothing. Nothing has happenned. Single. You. Single. Me. Lies on my lips injure me. Secrecy. Forbidden fruit. All of this a dream to me. Do you dream in the same colors as me? Don't let go of my hand. Hold me. Hold me. Now. Please. Tighter. Let me be me but don't let go of me. Day by day. By day. By day. Cross our fingers. Fight the fight. See you when I close my eyes tight. Whispering sweet nothings in the dark. Feel the sunlight. Just don't want to wake up from my heart's flight. Lay with me. Hold on tight. Opposition. Challenge. Creeping quickly beneath the glow of this night. Kiss me. Softly. Quickly. I love you. Love. You. Psst... . I. love. you. Don't wake me. Let me be me but don't let go of me. My darling....

Rainy Day Blues

Summertime Summertime
Rain Rain Rain
So much rain it makes me insane
Wet. Wet. Wet. Just stepped in a puddle.
Now I'm getting upset.

Do
Not
Mind
Rain
While
I'm
Inside...

Defineltly Nice. Wintertime. Curled up. Fireplace. Cozy Blankets. Warms the insides.
But Summertime. Summertime? Not. Time. For. Rain.
No. No. No. Flowers need light. Animals need Spring.
I need light. Give. It. To. Me.
Where is the sunshine?
Sunshine. So. Sweet. Sunshine lights the soul. Remember light?
New York. Welcome. The New Seattle.

Silenced Voice Broken

Who do you think you are?
Why?
What gives you the right to decide for me?
To constrain me... to give me such limits?
.. To tell me where I belong in this world...
...To tell me what I can and cannot do...
... To speak to me like a child....
over and over, over again

How can you tell me that I won't reach the stars?
Your failing at your job, Mrs. Perfect.
I thought it was supposed to be 'in your position' to push me forward.
... to tell me to reach for the stars-
the same stars that are higher than my fingertips reach.
Good Job... Yeah. You're great at your job.

What gives you the nerve... the downright gall?
What for?
Why can't you believe in me?
What keeps you from seeing me for who I am- for me?
Stop pretending like you care about my well-being...
Stop pretending like you care about my persona.
I don't want you to believe in me... not anymore.
I want, instead, to prove you wrong. So, just let me be.

You do not know me. You will never know me.
And I don't say it to be mean.
I don't want you to know me. I never tried to know you.
So don't try now- its too late.

Your not a shrink. Don't try to be. And don't be mine.
I don't need to be analyzed.
I know who I am. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of where I'm from.
Let me be. Bye. You don't know me, no you don't. Do not try.

I don't give up on myself... even when others do.
I never have, I never will. I was raised better.
I don't care what others think... other than those I hold dear to me.
So get away from me and take your friends.
I don't care what you think. I don't need your approval.
Who is it that you think you are, exactly, Mrs. Almighty?

I should thank you for being so unfair.
I should thank you for being so disrespectful, so judgemental.
Thank you for failing to believe in me,
.. In everything I stand for,
when you never tried to know me...
and never gave me a chance to show my colors.

You can not silence me...
At least never so easily.
I reach for the stars, my own starts, and I find them.
No matter how hard or how tough.
They may not be your stars, but they're my stars.
I don't care about your damn stars.
I am a survivor.
I was built and engineered to be.
I fight for my rights, each and every one.
So hold on tight, Ms. Perfect.

You can't touch me... even if you shut me down.
You won't change my colors. You won't change me.
You won't ever win... even if it ever seems like you have.
You'll just continue on,
naive.. full of yourself...believing that you own me...
Believing that you can control everything... you manipulate everything..
you are fed lies and you believe them....
and the lies are not words that ever fell from my mouth..

Go ahead- cover yourself with the blanket of nobility.
Pretend that you are high and almighty...
when the world that you live in is so small and confined.
Go ahead- presume that you know everything about me..
... presume that you know me.... when you never EVER will or can.
( while I laugh at that prospect you keep).

You can not win. Ever.
You'll exhaust yourself trying.
But Good luck trying.
Hold on to your seat. Buckle in.
Witch. Why?

Little Yellow Me

I am a little yellow flower.
I may not be the prettiest flower you see.
But I am beautiful.
The wind tells me so, the birds tell me so, the sun tells me so.

My color is bright. I am proud.
Although I am little and not well known or popular, I stand tall.
I believe in me. That is all that I need.
I am the color yellow, the bright and beautiful color of sunlight.
I am happy not to be like everyone else. I aim to be an individual.
Different makes me proud. My identity means everything to be me.
I am my own leader. I follow only faith and my own heart.

I am just a little yellow flower. I am me. I am happy.
I am springtime in the sunlight. I know who I am. I like my color.

Babbling Insomnia

I was born into this world.

A world that I try to fit into but a world that I clearly cannot adjust easily to.

A square peg into a round hole.

Some understand me. Many try to. Most do not. A fair amount cannot and never will.

A fair share I'll tell not to even bother to try.

I know who I am. I am proud of who I am.

I am me. That is who I want to be.

If you have to ask why I am who I am then please do not bother.

I was born into this world.

Having missed the decades which I clearly should have been in.... or, well, so "they" say...

Everyone says it... everyone, anyway.

Non-conformist. New-aged "hippie", missed "my decades"...

"What a shame she wasn't around for the good ol' days"...

Yeah, I agree. But, then I wonder, where would I be now, twice this age?

Would I know my dad? my mom? my siblings? my cousins, my family & friends?

Perhaps I am meant to be now, this way, just the way I am. For something.

Yes, I am sure of it. Quite sure that everything must happen for a reason.

I am me.

Born into this world

where nobody can figure me out,

'cept for me.... then the few and far in between.

I cannot conform, as much as I might want to try in order to please others.

I cannot lie, because it is not who I am or what I am made of.

I am not perfect and do not always learn from my mistakes the first time 'round.

But I know who I am. I am happy. I am proud. I am beautiful. I live without regrets.

Milk that has spilt is not worth any tears.

I will find the decades I missed somehow, in some way, at least in part.

I will find the one, apart from my girls, who gets me for me without question.

I will learn to live in this world because the world is beautiful even if it is corrupt.

The world, although perhaps a different shape than I, will bend with my shape and form.

I am a teacher even without a degree. I am a student, until the day that I leave this earth.

I am an artist. I am an author. I am a dreamer, a believer, a lover and a fighter.

I believe the world's problems could be solved much better with the presidents in a boxing ring.

Bloodshed burns at my heart and soul.

Although I love this land, I can never love or justify a war which seems barbaric.

I am a bird. I am a flower. I am the sunlight. I am the hope and the faith in the future.

Haiku Morning

Nightinggale sing. Sing.
Sing a light tune. Dark night.
Console me asleep. Sing.

Japanese Haiku.
Sushi. Chopsticks. Haiku. ku
American Blood.

Novels. Novelas.
Short Stories. Poems. Words.
But Haiku? Is Challenging.

The 28th came.
Yay! Pharmacy run. Thank God.
Problem Solved. Give me.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
Six Birds on the Wire There.
Free. Fly. Spread your wings.

Need to get out. Out.
Save. Save. Have to Move Out. Move.
Independence. Choke.

Haiku Haiku: Whole Buncha Haiku (10)

Headache. Head. Ache. Ouch.
Trudging along my Wednesday.
Long day. Very. Long.

Shut the lights out. Please.
Hands envelope my temples.
Crumble to my knees.

Large glass of water.
Food. Medication. Caffeine.
Nothing works... God, Please!

Aspirin two times.
Advil. Soma. Tylenol.
Damn. Damn. Piercing pain. White blind pain.

Stab. Stab. Throb. Throb. Oww!
Cannot think straight. Talk straight. What?!?
Let me alone. Quite. Shh!

Lower the shades. Please?!
Light a candle. Put on tea.
Make it stop. Stop. Stop.

Migraine. Let me be.
Please stop taking over. Please.
What can I do? What?!?

Dumb damn Doctor. Damn. Unfair.
Your inadequate error....
"Supposed to" step down.

I am ill. Head. Belly.
You- Rich still. High horse grins. Why?
Cut off. Cut off. Ill.

Ladder broken. How?
No steps to step down. Warped wood.
Careless. Guiltless. Nerve.

Haiku Imitation

Mist falls -
Upon my face,
Upon the flowers there.


Click-Click-Click
Car dead again.
Stupid lemon car.

'Chance Meeting'

Summer's heat -
Cool breeze off the water -
I left the bar quite unknowing
You remained on the patio, just the same.

As you turned for something,
while you packed up equiptment-
your face behind nights' shadows only half-showing.
My face turned quick as did yours...
Eyes met eyes... in one long, locked gaze...
Time paused.... stood still....
My heart which jumped five beats,
I hardly know how I contained.

Then a sweet, handsome whisper upon mine ear,
" Whats your name?"
And I responded.... then with curiousity I requested the same.
"Calum".
Calum.
Strange, very cool and interesting name.
So this is the name for the Irish wonder who has stolen my heart...
in the miracle of a moment's notice.

To avoid the chance encounter with my
bad blind date behind me.....
I choked for words, as you did the same I suppose.
I could only gaze into your beautiful chocolate brown eyes,
listening to my mind race as my heart ceased to beat.
My mouth? My words? I failed to speak.. as if I had forgotten how to.
But, time? No, time did not move.
Time stood still. Ever. So. Still. Where am I? Who?
There's just me. Here. There's just you. Stay still.

Then the wind changed course,
reality blew in with the wind.
Our gaze was interrupted and broken,
and only a name.... only a first name....first.
Calum.

They say if it's meant to be, then it will be...
God takes care of it. So I keep my faith.
What was that, that just happened?
How do I process that stopping of time?
I swallow it down with hope that there will be another encounter.
Leaving it up to fate... faith... not a bad idea...
It's one choice when I have no other... and I am a young lady of faith.
Will you write a lyric for me as I have written words over you?
Will they sound sweet like a memory.... a memory worth remembering.
Calum.

Will... a Legend of the English World

William Shakespeare

Check out this link...just click on Shakespeare's name above! I have always been a very creative person... a writer, an artist, a gardener, a star gazer..and I have always loved quotes.

One of my very favorite quotes, is this...

" To thine own self, be true!"

... and I am not sure there are many equally good and more honest quotes that compare. Without being yourself, you are not actually living and enjoying the life that was intended for you(or at least that's how I feel about it).

'Oh, Blue Angels.. Can You Hear Me?'

Oh, Blue Angels.... Can you hear me?

How perfectly you fly the planes with such precision- with such perfection- such awe!

How perfectly ironed your navy blue uniform is, how perfected your stance and walk.

And how cordial each of you are to every individual lunatic fan-

Fans and Enthusiasts, pushing and shoving to get your John Handcock....

But, excuse.... Blue Angels-

or maybe just one angel's response will do...

How lonely do you feel inside?

Can anybody hear you?

There seems to be a longing behind your eyes, Is the feeling new?

Traveling place to place... from here to there and back again.

Rushing at top speeds, far beyond speeds that the rest of us have tasted.

Is the grass greener where you stand?

The outfits are handsome and the stature is respected,

but whats going on inside, Blue Angels-

Are you silently whispering up to heaven in regards to a lonely heart?

For those of you alone without a soul who knows you well-

For those of you married or engaged, who choke up in greetings and departures-

What would happen if you traded your life of speed and worldliness,

and instead kept your two feet on the ground?

I bet, and I'm sure I'm right, as lonely as you are-

It's not worth the trade-off.

For, if it was- tell me, why are you still airborne?

Oh, Blue Angels, each and every one,

how awkward it must feel to only have a window's view

into the worlds of those you know well.

But, oh, blue angels, how amazing and breathtaking it must be,

to taste the things and experience the things you have... which we cannot.

How strange and strangling...how conflicting it must be...

To want what you have so badly- to be proud of yourself to have it -

But to... on the same note... want something you can't have so bad it stings.

Well, come on, lets just face it- None of us can have everything!

We choose the lives we do because it seems perhaps it is stitched into us...

Intertwined into our being... as if we never really maybe had a choice.

People that become nothing weren't meant to be nothing...

... just chose their lives to take that path.

In this world of give and take, and black and white...

Your decision was wise and well spent.

Oh, Blue Angels, although your hearts may ache....

with the struggle to plant your feet or fly.. with the struggle to find your heart's mate...

or, perhaps, to spend time with the soul you've already found who's picture is in your head -

Know this, as twisted a decision as it is for you,

...and as strange of a struggle your hearts contend with...

Everyone watching you from down on the ground feels their own struggle,

most of them envious...to some degree... of you and your choices.

Smile & be proud....walk proudly.... Blue Angels,

...because even with your feet planted, love does not come so easy.

'Bitten by the Sun'

Memorial Day weekend greets the familiar faces and friendly crowds.
Sunshine and a perfect teasing warm breeze to set the pace,
along with the welcomed sunshower against sticky mesquito-bitten skin.
The Summer months on Long Island are officially upon us,
creeping up quickly without any desire to hide its face.
Why shall I let it hide its face?

Sunshine, to my eyes, is happiness
Sunshine is laughter
Sunshine and the warm light is love that surrounds me.
Warm breeze that envelopes both jovial family and friends.

Memorial Day has finally made its way to the Long Island shores,
past the beautiful cool Autumn breezes and even colder Winter chill.
Memorial Day rung in with parties, b.b.q.'s and the typical girls night out...
Car shows and air shows; Concerts, Nautical Mile and parades galore...
thats what Memorial Day memories are made of!

Sunday b.b.q. with the family out back on the canal..
who's turn is it to jump in the race across the bay to ring the bell?
Lucky for me, I don't have a change of clothes.
Hide under the Tiki Bar, drink...drink... drink some more...
Yell for the fastest swimmer then play house with the children on the lawn.

Entire weekend in the sun, barely taken time to sit....
The Monday Memorial holiday always spent lounging and relaxing.
I save my sitting and exhaustion for then.
Wow! My back hurts...

More Daquiri please...or Pina Colada works too....
let me behind the bar, I'll mix a drink for you.
Light dances across the deck, throwing happy shadows across the yard-
Welcome summer, welcome here.
Thanks for the sun, the warm breeze and daylight showers.
Please wake me in the early sunlite hours (but preferably without a hangover).

Summer Philosophy: Gets the Creative Gears Rolling!

Today is our first day of our PHI 390: Creative Experience summer class. I like the approach to learning in this class because it is very different than what I am used to in the mundane graduate classes. It is not that I don't enjoy the ESL/English Education classes that are mandatory for my graduate degree, but it's just a lot of technical "stuff" which does not allow me the outlet to be me.

In this class, Philosophy & the Creative Experience, I am able to do what I enjoy and get graded for it. In my opinion, the undergraduate classes, at lease the electives in the undergraduate classes, are far more fun. In this new class, we are welcomed 'to go against the grain' and follow our hearts and take risks. It's a breath of fresh air to match the beautiful Spring season that is upon us.

On-Going Assessment